“You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people.”
Sunrise – the beginning of a new day, a sheer moment of beauty reflecting in your eyes. Its warmth salving your mind as the night slowly evanesces. Another chance to experience the unimaginable, to live to the fullest and most importantly, to love unconditionally.
Truth is though, the human mind is complicated, and so is the consciousness of the self. How we present ourselves on the outside may be totally different from how we really perceive our inner self. Various factors play a role, such as wanting to come across strong even though we are vulnerable so we don’t get hurt, or wanting to show that we are brave although we have a tendency to fear the worst. Our mind can be manipulated and tricked into thinking we truly are the way we want to be seen by others. But few really take time to actually ask themselves, who is it that I really want to be? The quest for the self, even though strenuous and not always easy. In the end, I believe life to be exactly about that – creating the ultimate versions of ourselves, accepting the way we are, understanding our thoughts and actions and connecting with our spirit. I see this as an on-going process, however, which can take years or even decades to complete. Some may never reach the point of absolute self-love and recognition and continue to ever live in the body of someone who they believe to be. Surely, it is always easier to close our eyes to things we don’t want to see. But our spirits deserve attention, they deserve to be released, and in the end, to be loved.
To love ourselves may be a phenomenon that many underestimate and often totally neglect. They don’t see the importance of spending time with themselves – they feel rather safe when guided by others. Truth is, we always look for people who appear to have a strong and honest character, who know their abilities, what they want and how to get it. We’ve all been at that point where we felt comfortable following others, letting them tell us how or who to be. As I said, some of us will remain in this state until the end of days, because perhaps they are scared to look at themselves rather than others.
It is always easier to just let things happen. But truthfully, a lot of it lays in our own hands and happens in our head. We can manipulate our minds positively to the extent of letting it believe we can do anything.
We’ve all been at points in our lives filled with doubts, frustration, hurt and total despair. What many of us do? Wait. Wait until someone or something comes around to save us. What I’ve learned and what I consider to be absolutely true is that no one is going to come save us but ourselves. Furthermore, if we keep this in mind, we won’t ever be dependent on someone else turning our lives around again. You are your own savior and the only one who can help you heal completely.
Forgiveness. We often beat ourselves up because we’ve made a decision that has hurt someone else. Yet, for us and for our future we believed it to be the right choice. We get blamed, called on, and refused forgiveness. We end up taking the blame on ourselves because we think that this way, we get what we deserve and we can move on. I’ve seen, however, that you don’t need someone else to grant you forgiveness. Never apologize for the path you’ve chosen, because it is exactly where you’re meant to be. You have the power to forgive yourself and your soul – don’t be too harsh on yourself and give yourself the love you would give to a friend that is hurting. Incorporate your failures and and losses into who you are, as this is what makes you you, in the unique and beautiful form you exist.
Getting to know ourselves takes time and effort. It is a lifelong journey, and in the end, you’re going to spend the rest of the life with the version of yourself that you’ve created. No matter how many loving people we have around us – truth is that we are alone and responsible for our own well-being. Put in the effort to learn to love yourself, to enjoy your own company and to carry yourself when no one else is.
I believe that one is only able to love someone else truly when they’ve started to love themselves. The soul is fragile and it takes a lot of care to ensure her comfort. Being content with ourselves lays the basis for anything we achieve in our lives.
Take time everyday to spend with yourself, however much time this may be. Care for yourself like you would care for a friend. Dive in the oceans, walk in the forests, sit in silence. Have trust in yourself and your abilities, and always be strong enough to stand alone when everything around you seems to have left you.
Love always,
Joana
Joana Serein 